Tuesday, September 16, 2014

copperbadge:

ame-kage replied to your post “What’s a BNF?”

Why is BNF considered a pejorative?

notimpossiblejustabitunlikely replied to your post “What’s a BNF?”

You don’t have the ego problems that usually lead to it being used as a pejorative, so embrace it!

I feel these comments go together somehow….:D

BNF can be used pejoratively to imply that the person in question is putting on airs, getting above themselves, or being arrogant/egotistical; it can also subtly refer to someone who is not above encouraging bad behavior on the part of their followers. Some BNFs in the early days of LJ, and really reaching as far back as the old usenet days, could have some pretty problematic behaviors that inspired this perception. People who have large readerships now still sometimes get tarred with that brush, whether they engage in those behaviors or not — and sometimes if they engage in perfectly normal behavior that reads to outsiders like egotism because of the context it’s in. I honestly think most BNFs don’t have the BNF Problem, their awkwardness is just magnified by the size of their readership.  

For example, most people online form friendships, and often form small inner communities of friends with shared in-jokes, catchphrases, and general experiences. That’s normal human behavior, having friends, having a circle of friends. But when you’re a BNF, and people want to enter your circle of friends because you have prestige or the attention of a lot of people or for whatever reason, that person’s totally normal friendships can look to outsiders like a clique or even a conspiracy. I’ve been accused of having a clique; no, what I have is friends. If a BNF is quiet because they’re shy, it can be seen as aloofness; if they have a disagreement with someone, it can be seen as an attack. Because of an external perception, that I have a clique and I’m king of it (which is laughably untrue), I can be seen as one of “those” BNFs, the kind who gathers followers and then holds merciless sway over them.

The stakes are just higher — you get more attention, your work gets more attention, and when you make a mistake, you suffer for it far longer than someone else might. That’s just how it rolls; you take the good with the bad. 

The truth is I’m a klutz who routinely falls over while doing yoga, I’m socially awkward enough in person that I have very few brickspace close friends, and I do what I can to get along in life, the same as everyone else. Nobody is universally liked, and of course I don’t enjoy being disliked, but I’m willing to deal with that for the pleasure the rest of my online interactions bring me. 

Honestly, I think there’s also a strong sexism element to this. Copperbadge aside, a lot of BNF are women, because fandom tends to be a female dominated space.

The attitude that certain popular people are getting arrogant/above themselves/etc carries a higher penalty for women than for men, even within majority-female groups. And it finds fertile ground in a place like fandom - geeky girls are often taught to embrace the Exceptional Woman trope to better fit in with their geeky male friends.  That kind of internalized sexism often creates a backlash against other women who either aren’t performing Geekdom “correctly” or who are somehow “showing up” the rest of us by being really great at Geekdom and admitting it publicly.  

It’s depressing as shit, but women are really great and pulling down other women who show any kind of pride in their own work.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

I just bought $20 worth of wine, and $40 worth of cat food. CATLADY LEVEL 5000: UNLOCKED

Friday, September 5, 2014

game of thrones vs. the worst muse

(Source: doreahology)

Thursday, September 4, 2014

theawkwardlifeofapsycho:

Why is this not taught universally.

This is great, if you think you can do it safely. This is great, if you’re capable in the moment of violent action. This is great, if you aren’t frozen in shock and fear that this person - this person who you trusted, who you thought was your friend - is proving themselves without shadow of a doubt to really not be your friend.

But sometimes, it’s not clear if the person who is trying to rape you will go the extra step of beating you and maybe even killing you if you try to defend yourself. Sometimes you’re already drunk or drugged or even just pinned down, and the act of breaking another person’s finger is beyond you. Sometimes you’re just paralyzed in shock because of the violation.

And sometimes, just sometimes, even the evidence of violent rejection is considered insufficient by the authorities.

So frankly, if you can fight back? More power to you. Kick that person in the junk, scratch your nails down his face, break his fingers. But let’s stop telling girls that we need individual solutions to systemic problems, when we SHOULD be teaching boys to keep their fucking hands to themselves if they don’t have explicit, enthusiastic invitation.

(Source: sfgifs)

Thursday, August 28, 2014

How do people at my office consistently fail to understand that if conference room 9147 is on the 9th floor, then conference 1147 is on the first floor?  Absolutely everybody thinks it should be on the 11th floor, despite a) 10th floor rooms having 5 digits (eg. conference room 10147) and b) there is no 11th floor in the building.

MEETING ON THE ROOF TODAY, GUYS. THE WIFI IS GREAT UP HERE.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

I am perpetually saying to myself, “what if I could just take a pill, and not sleep ever?” and then I remember that that’s meth, and it’s a bad idea.

Friday, August 22, 2014

whitegirlsaintshit:

babefield:

it here

LAAAAAADIIIIEEEESSSSS!~!!!!!!!!

Thursday, August 21, 2014
Wednesday, August 20, 2014

heidi8:

theorlandojones:

This is a very serious disease* so I gladly accept the “bucket challenge”

*My heart goes out to all those who struggle with ALS but I am, of course, talking about the disease of apathy.  If (and hopefully when) Michael Brown’s killer is brought to justice and convicted of 1st degree murder, it still won’t prevent this from happening again. We cannot accept this as the status quo. We MUST continue the fight at the ballot box, in the media and by working to create systemic change. I’m not naive to the dirty politics (redistricting, voter ID requirements, etc) that will try to prevent us from our goal. But I refuse to give up hope. My “bullet bucket challenge” is not about pointing fingers and it’s not about being angry. Every shell casing in that bucket represents the life of someone who fought and died in the goal for civil rights and human dignity. As a member of law enforcement (yes I really am a reserve sheriff) I will not stand idly by while others violate civil and human rights under the cover of authority and I will insist that other good cops rise to the same standard as well. As a black man I will demand more from myself and my community. I will not allow outsiders to co-opt our struggle in order to commit violence in our name. I’m channeling my outrage into action so I no longer feel powerless. It’s not about black or white. It’s not about rich or poor. It’s about us vs. them. There are more of us — from all races, genders and identities — then there will ever be of them. And we will be victorious.

"The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality"

Join me.

My kids thought they were beads in the bucket, or ball bearings. I explained what they were, and why Orlando was pouring those instead of ice. 

I know the degree of privilege I have - we have - to not know what shell casings are - I’d never seen them myself until I was 14 and paid a visit to a military base - and God willing I hope my kids never see them In Real Life. In this context, they’re something to think about, and they hopefully will spur action. 

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

GIRLSPLOSION, an action movie for women, by Sady Doyle

Zoe Saldana, Uzo Aduba, and Michelle Rodriguez face off against Living God and evil archaeologist Gina Torres!  Ably assisted by shorty-short wearing Chris Evans, competent-until-plot Idris Elba, cute Librarian Allison Brie, and literal Goddess Sekhmet Laverne Cox.

You guys I would watch this movie FIFTY TIMES IN THEATRES

theorlandojones:

As we wrap up this terrible week and weekend some final thoughts before I get my black ass back to work tomorrow to fight fictional demons instead of feeling powerless against the real ones —
Although he wasn’t by any means a close personal friend, the death of Robin Williams affected by greatly. Working with him and David Duchovny on the film House of D was a privilege and seeing how he treated everyone he encountered regardless of race, class, gender or orientation remains a hopeful reminder that genuine kindness and empathy does exist in the world. Whatever the ultimate reasons for his decision to take his own life I pray for him, his family and all who suffer from the unrelenting grasp of depression and substance abuse. By shining his light on us all for the period of time he did, I am 100% certain that Robin left this world a better place than he entered it with a legacy that will not soon be forgotten.
That said, if we spent even a fraction of the time given to the tributes about Robin and the late Lauren Bacall also remembering the lives of Michael Brown, Eric Garner, John Crawford, Ezell Ford or Dante Parker (the 5 unarmed black men killed by police just in the past month) or honestly looked at the data about how often police shoot unarmed black men and women in this country we would all hang our collective heads in shame.
In the midst of thousands upon thousands of peaceful protesters who came out demanding answers and marching for justice with the powerful and heartbreaking refrain Hands Up. Don’t Shoot. the actions of a small few in Ferguson (many of whom were anarchists that intentionally came into the city to stir up trouble and perhaps a few others from the community who had simply reached their breaking point in the face of racial, economic and social injustice) gave the white power structure the cover to quickly change the narrative to one about the violence in the city (in reality almost entirely perpetrated by the militarized police rather than the demonstrators) instead of the murder of an unarmed teenager by a cop who “never meant for this to happen" (and don’t even get me started on that fuckery which should instead read "a cop who never meant to be held accountable").
In this way, a PROTEST became a RIOT. Images of demonstrators THROWING BACK tear gas canisters launched at them became stories of rioters throwing molotov cocktails AT THE POLICE (and yes I am aware of media reports showing that molotov cocktails were in fact used by protesters in some instances but not in the way that it was ultimately spun). And the police released incendiary and ENTIRELY IRRELEVANT information about Michael Brown that the media lapped up because it reinforced the all too familiar trope that “the violent black dude was a thug who got what he deserved”.
Black victims are regularly eyed with suspicion and contempt (and ultimately deemed responsible for what happened to them) while the media too often generates headlines that exhibit an air of disbelief at an alleged white killer’s supposed actions.
Even in our outrage at what happened at this week and the necessity for our voices to be heard so this story is not swept under the rug, we all know something like this will happen again. And again. And again.
Until each of us (black, white, brown, etc) demands accountability from our elected officials we will get the country we deserve. Tweeting is not enough. Feeling bad is not enough. Acting like we’re overreacting and it can’t really be that bad makes you an accessory after the fact (not to mention an asshole). 
Which is why, as the GIF above shows, I’m giving America a down vote.
So how can we stop feeling powerless? What can we actually do?
Honestly, there are people much smarter than me who can do a better job of answering that question.
But trying to answer that question for myself is a large part of why I do what I do for a living. Because representation matters. Because being in control of our own stories empowers us to show a wide range of depictions of blackness and “otherness” (shockingly, not only do we not all LOOK ALIKE but we also don’t all THINK ALIKE) that are far more interesting than what we’ve been spoon fed in the past. I’m the first to admit that we’ve still got A LONG WAY TO GO and that’s where you all come in.
Although my engagement in fandom is embraced by some and side-eyed by others, these spaces of interaction may in fact play one of the most significant roles in the future of media and representation as we know it. At the very least it will create a future generation of professional storytellers (and social justice advocates) who were raised in the trenches of Live Journal, Tumblr, ao3 and other platforms currently in use or yet to be created.
I know this is your turf and even though there are times some of you wish I’d go away I genuinely appreciate the opportunity to interact with you here.
Together, we can make a difference.
Trollando out.

theorlandojones:

As we wrap up this terrible week and weekend some final thoughts before I get my black ass back to work tomorrow to fight fictional demons instead of feeling powerless against the real ones —

Although he wasn’t by any means a close personal friend, the death of Robin Williams affected by greatly. Working with him and David Duchovny on the film House of D was a privilege and seeing how he treated everyone he encountered regardless of race, class, gender or orientation remains a hopeful reminder that genuine kindness and empathy does exist in the world. Whatever the ultimate reasons for his decision to take his own life I pray for him, his family and all who suffer from the unrelenting grasp of depression and substance abuse. By shining his light on us all for the period of time he did, I am 100% certain that Robin left this world a better place than he entered it with a legacy that will not soon be forgotten.

That said, if we spent even a fraction of the time given to the tributes about Robin and the late Lauren Bacall also remembering the lives of Michael Brown, Eric Garner, John Crawford, Ezell Ford or Dante Parker (the 5 unarmed black men killed by police just in the past month) or honestly looked at the data about how often police shoot unarmed black men and women in this country we would all hang our collective heads in shame.

In the midst of thousands upon thousands of peaceful protesters who came out demanding answers and marching for justice with the powerful and heartbreaking refrain Hands Up. Don’t Shoot. the actions of a small few in Ferguson (many of whom were anarchists that intentionally came into the city to stir up trouble and perhaps a few others from the community who had simply reached their breaking point in the face of racial, economic and social injustice) gave the white power structure the cover to quickly change the narrative to one about the violence in the city (in reality almost entirely perpetrated by the militarized police rather than the demonstrators) instead of the murder of an unarmed teenager by a cop who “never meant for this to happen" (and don’t even get me started on that fuckery which should instead read "a cop who never meant to be held accountable").

In this way, a PROTEST became a RIOT. Images of demonstrators THROWING BACK tear gas canisters launched at them became stories of rioters throwing molotov cocktails AT THE POLICE (and yes I am aware of media reports showing that molotov cocktails were in fact used by protesters in some instances but not in the way that it was ultimately spun). And the police released incendiary and ENTIRELY IRRELEVANT information about Michael Brown that the media lapped up because it reinforced the all too familiar trope that “the violent black dude was a thug who got what he deserved”.

Black victims are regularly eyed with suspicion and contempt (and ultimately deemed responsible for what happened to them) while the media too often generates headlines that exhibit an air of disbelief at an alleged white killer’s supposed actions.

Even in our outrage at what happened at this week and the necessity for our voices to be heard so this story is not swept under the rug, we all know something like this will happen again. And again. And again.

Until each of us (black, white, brown, etc) demands accountability from our elected officials we will get the country we deserve. Tweeting is not enough. Feeling bad is not enough. Acting like we’re overreacting and it can’t really be that bad makes you an accessory after the fact (not to mention an asshole). 

Which is why, as the GIF above shows, I’m giving America a down vote.

So how can we stop feeling powerless? What can we actually do?

Honestly, there are people much smarter than me who can do a better job of answering that question.

But trying to answer that question for myself is a large part of why I do what I do for a living. Because representation matters. Because being in control of our own stories empowers us to show a wide range of depictions of blackness and “otherness” (shockingly, not only do we not all LOOK ALIKE but we also don’t all THINK ALIKE) that are far more interesting than what we’ve been spoon fed in the past. I’m the first to admit that we’ve still got A LONG WAY TO GO and that’s where you all come in.

Although my engagement in fandom is embraced by some and side-eyed by others, these spaces of interaction may in fact play one of the most significant roles in the future of media and representation as we know it. At the very least it will create a future generation of professional storytellers (and social justice advocates) who were raised in the trenches of Live Journal, Tumblr, ao3 and other platforms currently in use or yet to be created.

I know this is your turf and even though there are times some of you wish I’d go away I genuinely appreciate the opportunity to interact with you here.

Together, we can make a difference.

Trollando out.

Monday, August 18, 2014

apathxxtic:

Just because the good cops are in town now doesnt mean that the system is fixed bruh. These cops that were using unnecessary force must be put to justice by a court of their peers as criminals. Bills for stricter police control need to be introduced and laws must be passed. The people are safe now but by every meaning of the phrase: stay woke

(Source: previouslysane)

Thursday, August 14, 2014

getting absolutely nothing done today, too busy watching the Ferguson situation in dismay.  I’m hundreds of miles away, but at least I can be a witness.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014
You see, the reasons - which are very important - are the causes behind this. That’s because there are things that make it so we can’t do this, like reasons. As we said, the reasons, are very important. It’s almost like there are obstacles ahead of us, which there aren’t, but it’s AS IF there are. So we can’t do it, because of the important reasons and the obstacles, which are imaginary, but scary like dreams. Anyone from Marvel (ever) on why they aren’t making a film starring a female superhero (ever). (via westerlingss)

(Source: inkasrain)

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

The eternal post gym question: do I put back on my gross sweaty panties, or do I freeflap it home in a pencil skirt?